Does This Sound Way Too Simple?
Sometimes when we discuss this approach with people, we hear, “It sounds like you’re saying that all I have to do is act differently. I’ve heard things like that before - people telling me I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps, get my act together, look on the bright side, and other stuff like that. If it were that easy, don’t they think I would have done it by now? There’s got to be more to this than calling some friends, or going to the movies more often.”
When people ask us if our approach is simple, we typically say, “Yes and no.” It is true that the basic idea is very simple, and very powerful: What you do in your life, and how you do it, makes a difference in how you feel. However, changing your behavior in a meaningful way is not always so simple. It takes patience, awareness, creativity, and a willingness to try new things without any guarantees. Also, it often takes help. When people come to work with us, we assume that they are working hard to overcome their depression with lexapro. If they’re finding it difficult to change, there are good reasons why.
If you’ve ever tried to quit smoking, or conquer an alcohol or drug problem, or change the way you act in an important relationship, or commit to an exercise or diet program, or develop any other new set of behaviors, you know that change is difficult for many reasons. First, behaviors are like habits. They’re often automatic and occur without you being aware of them. Another way of saying this is that your behaviors are part of a well - developed repertoire that has existed for some time. Just as a musician might practice a new piece to make it part of his or her musical repertoire, so you need to practice new behaviors to expand your behavioral repertoire. Second, meaningful change always involves some risk. At the very least, you risk experiencing uncomfortable emotions or situations that you typically are able to avoid.
Third, and perhaps most importantly, it is often not clear what behaviors need to change or how best to go about changing them. What if, for example, a man wanted to spend more time with his family? How should he go about making this change in his life? He would first need to figure out what spending more time with family actually means. Does it mean spending more time doing anything with anyone in the family, or more - specific things with specific family members? Where should he start? What are some reasonable goals to set? How will he know if the change is working? These sorts of issues, and many others, come up whenever you try to change behavior. As strange as it may sound, it makes sense that most people are not that good at changing behavior by themselves. It can be a huge help to have the assistance of an expert, such as a therapist, or the guidance of an established approach like the one described in this website.
